Sex magic is a taboo topic, at least in my experience. The United States has deeply puritanical roots, and people view sexuality as sinful. Those who don’t practice the craft sometimes believe witches are heathens, out practicing black magic and having wild sex in the woods.
Okay, maybe not.
That could just be from The Crucible. But you get the picture. There’s some skepticism about using sex as part of a ritual. I would argue that sex isn’t sinful or dirty. It’s sacred, a way of expressing our love and affection for another person and appreciating our bodies. Why wouldn’t you want to incorporate self love and love for another person into your craft?
What Sex Magic Isn’t
It isn’t a fun, kinky sexual practice
This should be about working your will, asking the god or goddess for their help. Sex is an easy way to connect with your life force, your essence. That being said, it can be fun.
It isn’t a sneaky way to cast a spell
I’ve never done a sex magic ritual with someone who has been unaware. I believe this is unethical. Your partner doesn’t need to be a witch, but should be aware of what you are doing.
How’s it Done?
Generally, I follow the same principles I’d use to cast a spell, and make sure to cast a circle before you start. In this case, I would utilize the bed to do the ritual. Although you are always welcome to be more adventurous in your choice of location.
You can do a spell by yourself while masturbating or with another person of your choosing. You can simply think about the spell or say the words aloud, whatever feels “right” to you.
Add candles, incense, essential oils, or whatever other items would be necessary for the spell. I’ve massaged my partner with oil during the ritual which was romantic, pleasurable, and well-suited to the spell.
Make sure you decide on what you want before you begin. Making your intentions clear is important.
I use the Five Fold Kiss as a way to start this ritual. I think it’s sensual, body positive, and sets the right tone.
Five Fold Kiss
Traditionally, this ritual is used between a high priest and priestess when they are representing the god and goddess in a coven ceremony. However, I’ve used it as a beginning to my sex magic rituals.
Each phrase is accompanied by a kiss on the corresponding body part.
Blessed be thy feet, which have brought thee in these ways
Blessed be thy knees, which shall kneel at the altar
Blessed be thy phallus or womb, without which we would not be
Blessed be thy chest or breasts, formed in strength or beauty
Blessed be thy lips, which speak only truth
I’m an advocate of using intuition and instinct when casting. Sometimes you can think about what your intention is while you make love. Other times, you might be moved to say some words. Your partner may be working toward the same goal or just adding his or her energy to your own.
Stay in tune with your body. Do you feel the energy surrounding you and your partner (if you didn’t do the spell alone)? Harness it.
Focus on love. Love is powerful magic. Do you have feelings for your partner? Do you appreciate your body? Love yourself? Incorporate those emotions into your spell.
Lovemaking is distracting (if you’re doing it right!) and you’ll have issues focusing. Don’t worry about it. Just try and think about your spell whenever you can.
Learn about which tarot cards are associated with sex. Have you ever practiced sex magic? If so, tell me in the comments.